19 Seconds
by LittleRock17
Summary: For 19 seconds they were fine. There was no past, no present, no future. They were just... them. Two people who meant everything to each other. For 19 seconds, they were a "they" again. Set in 13x12, Jo and Alex's thoughts.


**Hello there! It's been a while since I posted anything soooo here you have! Ok, it's not like you were dying without me but _I_ was dying without you... I ment to post this after 13x12 but school and work own me and I wasn't able to write it on my laptop until now. God bless the carnival break. Anyway, you don't want to know about my life, it's messy. English is not my first language so if you see any mistakes, let me know (I couldn't beta test this)**

 **PS: Listen to _All of Me & Little Pieces of You _while reading ;) **

**Disclaimer: _Grey's Anatomy_ and all of its characters belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes... I own nothing.**

* * *

 **19 Seconds**

 **Jolex**

After Dr. Hunt sent her home – and didn't let her work on razor wire lady – Jo only did two things: sleep and, later, watch Game of Thrones. The second the brunette got home she climbed into bed, without even bothering in changing her clothes, and immediately fell asleep. The 30 something hours she told Hunt she'd been working were actually almost 40. She was emotionally and physically exhausted. She was, in fact, so fatigued that for the first time that week, she had a dreamless – or nightmare less – sleep. No "living in her car" dreams, no "crazy abusive husband" nightmares, no "Alex in prison" ones either.

After five amazing hours of sleep, she woke up because her stomach wouldn't stop growling. Jo had troubles getting out of bed – she was still tired – but she was starving, so she managed. The brunette stretched and took a deep breath, now realizing she needed, like really needed, a shower. And she had now three problems: she wanted to keep sleeping, eat and take shower. Could she sleep in the shower while eating? No, she couldn't. The brunette sighed. Deciding she couldn't eat while stinking like hospital and blood and sweat, she got up, walked to her drawer and pulled out underwear, some black leggings and a gray t-shirt.

Jo entered her bathroom and saw her reflection on the mirror. She didn't look like crap anymore – the bags under her eyes were gone – but she still felt like crap. After all, Alex was in prison because of her. Because of her lies, because of her past… but also because, maybe, he loved her enough to spent two years behind bars so her husband wouldn't find her; there was no other explanation for his actions… and she didn't know if she should feel better or worse about it. She knew she'd screw it up. She told him that night, in that dark supply closet with the storm outside. He told her everything would be fine but, how can anything be fine when they were apart and Alex in prison?

Anyway, there was nothing she could do so she undressed and hopped into the shower. Feeling the warm water touching her body made her feel like a human being again. Her muscles still ached but the water helped her relax. Her hunger was forgotten when Jo got out of the shower. She blow dried her hair – and she even straighten it – applied some body lotion and got dressed. The resident walked to the kitchenette, made a sandwich and sat on the couch, the one she bought for Alex so many years ago. Jo turned on the TV, happy to see there was a GoT marathon.

Not even half hour into the show when Jo heard a knock on the sliding door. She sighed, again. It was probably Steph, trying to cheer her up but she didn't want to be cheered up. She deserved to feel miserable while watching people get killed on TV. After the second knock, she put on some slippers, got up with her red blanket wrapped around her and walked to the door. She didn't expected to find Leah too along with Steph. It wasn't like she and Leah weren't friends anymore but it wasn't like before the blonde left. Without talking a word, Steph lifted a pizza, Jo's favorite by the smell of it.

"Why?" Jo asked. Again, she didn't want to be cheered up – she was OK in her pity party.

"We have pizza and beer." The blonde said showing the beer. Jo's favorite. They were trying hard.

"I have shows with swords and dragons and decapitations…" the brunette tried to – subtly – tell them to go away.

"We also have gossip." Steph pushed. Hospital gossip was always good. Jo only thought about it for a second.

"Come in." She gave in. Moving aside to let them in, she asked, "Where's Warren?"

"He's married to the Chief." It was the answer she Jo got from Stephanie, who followed Leah to the table.

"… so?" The brunette didn't understand. She wasn't mad at him anymore – not that her friends knew she was mad at him in the first place – and they always invited him to have a drink with them.

"So… he's not to be trusted, I didn't invite him." She finished, leaving her purse on the bed and putting the pizza on the table.

"Yeah, Edwards want to have some weird sort of strategy session." Leah said, handing a beer to Jo who sat on the bed and still didn't know about what they were talking.

"Listen, Bailey called a meeting with the attendings last night and… _no one_ showed up." Steph said. "Not a single one. So Grey isn't the only one trying to get Minnick out." Jo took a sip of beer.

"Yeah but, we're residents. It doesn't really concern us." The blonde stated, dismissing the problem. Jo seemed to agree.

"It only concerns us. This is our education, we work hard to get here and they're obstructing us." Steph clarified. She had a point, Jo supposed. "Look, Kepner, Avery and Robbins are all with Grey." She counted them with her fingers. "Karev probably will be too." She added.

"Karev?" _Really?_ Jo thought. _Talk about him right now?_ "Karev's in prison." The words almost didn't make it out of her mouth. It hurt to say out loud.

Leah slowly turned to look at Steph, who did the same, and then back to Jo.

"What?" Jo asked. Those looks her friends were sharing worried her but their silence was even worse. " _What?_ " She asked again, louder.

Finally, Leah spoke.

"Jo… he's not in prison." She cautiously said.

Jo's eyes watered a bit, so she looked sideways before speaking.

"He took the plea, he's gone." Her jaw tensed when those last words came out of her lips.

"No, he's not." The blonde insisted. "We saw him today coming out of Bailey's office." Pointing Steph and herself.

"Yeah, we did." Steph nodded. "Apparently, DeLuca dropped the charges but nobody knows why." She lifted her shoulders in confusion.

"Andrew did what!?" Jo didn't gave them the chance to answer because she left her beer on the table, ditched her blanket and ran to her closet, grabbing a flannel – Alex's red flannel –, her jacket, and didn't even bothered in changing her slippers for some shoes before she was out of the door.

Leah and Steph stayed still for a few seconds before the later spoke.

"I want the pizza."

"I want the beer."

They grabbed their stuff and were out too in a matter of seconds.

Jo climbed into her car as fast as she could. She fastened her seatbelt – she had seen enough MVC's to know how important it was – and speeded towards Meredith's house. Oh, that house… it may be the place where Meredith Grey grew up but it was also the place where she found out she loved – loves – Alex… her first real home.

It wouldn't take long to get there, it wasn't very far away and she was driving a little over the speed limit. Her mind was racing as fast as her car, thinking about what should she say or do. Fearing that Alex may not want to see her. Or maybe, Meredith would just kick her out without letting her see Alex – free Alex – at all. The brunette hoped that it wouldn't be the case.

She was waiting for a traffic light to go green when a beeping sound made her take her eyes of the road for a second. Apparently, she received an e-mail. Quickly grabbing her phone with her right hand, she unlocked her screen and saw that the mail was from the Chief, appointing April Kepner as interim Chief of General Surgery.

"Kepner?" Jo made a confused gesture with her eyebrows but before she could think anything more out loud, a horn made her pay attention to the street once again. The light had turned green a few seconds ago. She put her foot on the gas pedal and kept going.

When she finally made it to Meredith's it was late but some lights were still on. The resident got out of the car and stood there for what it felt like hours. All that thinking on the way over and still she didn't know what to say… It wasn't like she could just say _"Hey! I'm glad you're not in prison because of me. Let's get back together."_ Even when that was all she wanted to say. Jo stayed still for some more minutes and it was starting to get cold so she put her hands on her jacket pockets. Finally, she decided to grow a pair and send a text to Alex.

« I'm here. »

Some more minutes went by until she saw a shadow through the blurry glass door… a male shadow. It could only be Alex. Her heart was racing, her ears were pounding and her stomach felt like 10 thousand elephants just stopped there. Then, the door opened.

Alex looked a bit surprised that she was actually there. The brunette saw it in his eyes but didn't say anything. Neither did him. Alex walked close to her but not too close… they weren't a couple anymore… at least not yet.

Jo stared at him, trying to figure him out. Trying to find out whether he was mad at her or no – whether he had forgiven her or not. Some more seconds passed by and the only thing she could tell was that he definitely did NOT hate her. So she stepped closer, hesitating between kiss him or hug him. The resident didn't want to risk getting rejected so she did the later.

 _1_

She put her arms around his neck and shoulders, digging her fingers on his back. God, it'd been so long since their last hug.

 _2_

She closed her hands into fists and tried to get closer to him, pressing her front against his torso as much as was humanly possible. His warmth felt so good.

 _3_

Jo couldn't help but smile. Alex was here. He was free. So she hugged him some more.

 _4_

The resident smushed her face a little in his shoulder, a little I his neck. Trying to smell him in… there was a combination of his cologne and… lasagna? Whatever, it was amazing.

 _5_

It took him 5 seconds to finally hug her back. It felt just like before. His arms up her back, pressing her against his chest. The smell of her hair. The heat between them was like fire.

 _6_

Alex thought about them. The beginning of their friendship, the storm – that Jason bastard… Jo was right, he would have probably find her husband and kill him –, their first kiss in the supply closet, the first time they made love… he missed her.

 _7_

Then he thought about their fights. When he called her his fiancée and she freaked, the fights about Meredith in their bed; Jo was right at being angry…

 _8_

… The morning of Owen's wedding when he shouted at her and the last one when he called her trash. He was so sorry.

 _9_

But now she was here again. Forgiving him as well as he was forgiving her. So he held her tighter, caressing her back.

 _10_

Alex closed his eyes, trying to forget every problem they'd have for just one second. Only thinking about how beautiful she was… and yet, so broken.

 _11_

He wanted to stay like that for ever but at the same time he knew they had so many issues that it was going to be a long road to recovery. They could try, though. They could succeed.

 _12_

Jo didn't want the moment to end either, she wanted him to hold her like that for the rest of their lives. But she knew there was so much baggage. They had to get rid of it before try again.

 _13_

Still, she was sure he loved her and she loved him too.

 _14_

He was her better half, her soul mate, her " _meant to be"…_

 _15_

The resident also thought about _him…_ She didn't want to run anymore but she couldn't put Alex in a situation like that again… she didn't want to keep lying. Maybe they could start over once she tells him her real name… Yeah, that was the first step.

 _16_

She only hoped Alex would still love her once he finds out how messed up she actually was…

 _17_

… Because no matter what, she'd still love him.

 _18_

She started to let go of him. She didn't want to but it was time to go. Just for now.

 _19_

Alex let go of her. Slowly. He didn't know when they would hug like that again. Maybe soon but, who knew? He stared at her for one more second.

They kept on staring at each other's eyes, not being able to say anything. Jo tried but the words died on her mouth. She didn't want to ruin the moment by saying the wrong thing and neither did Alex. Then, her eyes switched between his eyes and his lips… she wanted to kiss him so bad! But… that hug was all. At least for that night. That hug was everything they needed. So she turned around, walking towards her car. Alex stayed there for a second before doing the same, he turned around and walked to the inside of Mer's house. He turned to his right side, only to close the door, being careful not to look up, because if he saw Jo again, he would just grab her and kiss her. Then, he closed the door.

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 **That's it! Hope you liked it. Feel free to feedback, tell me what you think. After last night's episode I just want someone to hold Jo for ever... she doesn't deserve to be hunted by her past.**

 **Love ya!**


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